Wednesday, 23 August 2006
3:01 pm
Comments: 0
Posted by: Fluteboy
Tags: ,

There's a whole lot of nothing going on

Found out the truth when I looked in vain for a helping hand in a hurricane.

So sang the Kane Gang in 1987.

It seems there is no help to be found in this world - unless of course it comes from yours truly. We must try not to allow ourselves to rely on others for help or assistance of any kind, because chances are you may not get it. And if you find yourself depending on the help of another, then you will be sorely disappointed when it just doesn't materialise. Some people will hold out a promise and then take it away.

I have suffered on and off from depression over the years. This current bout, which began to rear its ugly head in December of last year, is the only one I have sought help over. Time and time again people have told me; "See a doctor!" or "You need help, you do!" Well this time around, I have done as these sods have advised, and sought this so-called help - only to find that it isn't worth a f*cking jot.
  • I go to my doctor, who diagnoses 'mild to moderate' depression. I suggest medication. He suggests the in-house counsellor.
  • I attend counselling sessions, only to be told that they will not be of any benefit to me, as I am too angst-ridden. I am advised to go back to my doctor for possible medication.
  • I return to my doctor and request, once more, medication. He suggests a web-based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy course that is currently being trialled. This, despite my clearly worsening mental state. He advises me that it may take up to three weeks for them to make contact with me. I am sent on my way, to fend for my panicking self.
  • I hear from the CBT group, fortunately after a few days. An assessment is arranged. With my emotions becoming more and more frayed, I resort to taking the herbal supplement St. John's Wort in order to steady me, and give me at least a little focus.
  • I attend the CBT assessment today, and it turns out that I am now suffering 'moderate' depression. I am recommended for their trial. Later in the day I am telephoned, only to be told I have been put on an eight month waiting list. In the meantime I must arrange to see my doctor.
And this all amounts to help, does it? Repeated requests for medication have been ignored, and now I am on a f*cking waiting list. What am I supposed to do during the next eight months? Heal myself? So it would seem. I have seen three professionals so far, and not one of them has delivered anything to improve my faltering mental state. The only respite thus far is from the herbal supplement that I bought from the shelf of my supermarket. So far, I am the only one who has helped me. All these f*cking so-called professionals have delivered diddly-squat.

So there you have it, peoples. If you want help - jolly well help yourself, because no one else can be relied on. The world doesn't care, or if it does then it is just too flaming incompetent to lend you a suitable hand. Sad but true. If you've got problems, they're your problems, no one else's. The only one who can ever be relied on to shelter and protect you - is you.

Seek help? I did - and what a f*cking load of use it was! The greatest help so far has come from ME! What does that tell you?

What a sorry state of affairs.

No comments:

Post a Comment