Dotty Christmas

2:57 pm : Monday, 25 December 2017  | 

The big day itself, and the cock is in the oven. The yearly juggling act that is managing to prepare two plates of yum. And the gifts of course. I usually have a bottle of scent at Christmas - invariably Aramis New West - but for this year I decided to go back to 1992, when those dollies behind the men's fragrance counter were forever trying to push this "gorgeous" scent on me. I was in my twenties, and I did not really appreciate something that smelled vaguely of curry and tobacco. 25 years on, enter Herrera For Men. Still packaged in her signature polka dots, and smelling a bit better than I interpreted it back then. To Hannah I smell like a man. Whatever that means.

Wesołych Świąt! Wub

Pull a cracker

1:55 am : Thursday, 21 December 2017  |  , , , ,

Christmas is coming, and we are preparing to move home. Not too far - just five miles away to a nearby village. It will be quieter, and there will be fewer shops, but I will appreciate the quiet and the greenery. Part of this ex-Londoner still craves the nearby 24-hour shops, and nipping out at 3:30AM for Red Bull and 20 Davidoff Classic, but there you go. We will have our usual quiet Christmas with just the two of us and two cats, and then begin the preparations for the move.

Video time, and this one is from the Christmas of 1984. Warwick Records released budget-priced albums in the UK, and this one showcased four of them. I always wanted The Sleighriders one! Yes I know, a medley of Christmas songs in a disco style - some many years after disco's heyday...

Pull a Warwick cracker! 1984 Christmas advert

Snow joke

2:23 am : Monday, 11 December 2017  |  , , , ,

My partner Hannah has a bit of a love affair with snow. She does love it when "there's tinkles". I don't, because it's cold and it hinders. Nevertheless, it was her birthday yesterday, and she awoke to see her beloved tinkles falling from the sky and covering absolutely EVERYTHING! So easy to please! I just made sure the home was warm enough.

We have two cats, and for some unknown reason, they chose to stop using the litter tray and instead leave their deposits outdoors. One of them even does the unheard-of and poops in HER OWN garden. This of course gives me the task of venturing outdoors to pick up these mini-roundabouts. With the snow on the ground, I elected to pouring some cat litter into a shallow storage box, so that they could serve up their doings in the warmth of their own home. Waste of time. When I stepped out the back door to smoke, she came darting out onto the snow-covered lawn, and faithfully plonked her 1 and 2 in the snow! The other cat was sensible enough to do so indoors.

Iain Lee sadly did not win on I'm a Celebrity..., though he did come a respectable third place. Tonight we had the pleasure of watching him tasked with having to consume a pig's v@g!na - which he dutifully did! He would eventually be rewarded with Pigs In Blankets, which I can only imagine would be more flavoursome than a chunk of hairy noo-noo on a cocktail stick. If one thing has been achieved from all this, his Twitter follower count has gone from 55,000 to over 100,000!

Bushtucker Trial: Iain Gets a Final DISGUSTING Mouthful
Iain's Sister Surprises Him in Camp - I'm a Celebrity


12:35 am : Tuesday, 5 December 2017  |  , , ,

Radio and TV presenter Iain Lee is currently doing a stint on I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!, and all in this household (all two of us) are rooting for him. It was his radio show that brought us together after all! I have this tendency to meet my partners vicariously through talk radio presenters. One partner was a fellow Nick Abbot listener.

Frozen food store Iceland are running this TV advert at the moment, and it has driven me to changing my mobile text alert to some bloke uttering the words "Gilded turkey". The power of advertising! Watch it and you may sympathise.

Iceland Christmas Advert 2017 - Luxury Gilded Turkey

Honestly guys, it is this bad!