Tuesday, 3 February 2004
2:59 pm
Comments: 0
Posted by: Fluteboy

Why bother!

Had the most appalling date on Friday. For two weeks, I had been in contact with Caroline, who I met via online dating. We established quite a rapport - we were emailing each other every day, we phoned each other a few times, we texted each other numerous times, we had seen pictures of each other - what could possibly go wrong? A date was arranged, with both of us confident in our ability to get on with each other.

I showed up, she showed up, we walked into the bar, she told me she was going to the toilet while I buy the drinks. She didn't go to the toilet - she left the venue, texting me a minute later with a pathetic "Really sorry, had 2 go". Since then, she refuses to answer my calls, my emails, only sending brief texts saying things like "Move on, I hope you find someone nice" Like she could even give a toss one way or the other.

Days later, I still cannot comprehend. I was gentlemanly, I was kind, I did nothing wrong, yet she turns around 180 degrees and banishes me like this. I always thought women had more sense and more brains than men, yet this makes me wonder. My confidence and trust in women is shot to hell. Why? I cannot see an answer, or even a future! Good grief! Goodbye to love, I guess.

Friends seem to share the view that I had a lucky escape. I am now getting to thinking "Sod her", but it just amazes me that a person can be so callous. All is well until you actually meet. It is ingratitude when you think about it. Shame it has to hurt.

I do wonder what it is that women want in a man. In my case, what women want is someone else. And searching for someone just seems to drive you insane. Is the search really worth it, or am I best just turning my back on it all? Why bother seeking a woman when women don't give a damn about you? Why waste time and energy running after something you cannot get? Why fight a losing battle? Call me a miserable sod, but I am right now.

It amazes me the things that some people expect in a partner. Sometimes you wonder if these people are even interested in an actual person! Some people seem to want some kind of trophy. I quote from an ad:

"I'm looking for someone absolutely drop dead gorgeous, I mean the kind of guy that walks into a room, and turns heads, with a very well toned and muscly body to match, a six pack would definitely bring a smile to my lips."

So an ordinary, everyday bloke, can just forget about it. As far as this person is concerned, anyone less is just not satisfactory, and may as well just fade and die. I used to take a dating magazine, and was always amused, occasionally left speechless by some of the expectations of our fellow humans! One ad clearly stated:

"No spectacles or thinning hair."

You could say something like "With an attitude as narrow as that, I'm not surprised she has to resort to the personals ads", but surely this is not the point. Shunning an almighty number of decent folk due to something which is presumably NOT THEIR FAULT is just downright unbelievable. Some people HAVE to wear glasses - are they required to stay sad and single for all eternity? And folk who are destined to shed their hair - is this the start of a dark and lonely journey? In some people's minds, yes.

It does reassure you of your sanity, but that's cold comfort when faced with prejudice. Judging someone by weight, I can almost understand, because it can be an indicator of their self respect. Thinning hair is completely involuntary. You've probably sussed that I am a baldie myself. It began when I was 20 and only now at 31 am I really beginning to come to terms with it. Sad, maybe, but a cruel fact of life, and I'm not about to start throwing good money at some cure that may or may not ever work.

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