Tuesday, 18 May 2021
2:10 am
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Posted by: Fluteboy
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To be sure to be sure

Following on from my last post, and having done some mathematical work regarding known DNA match percentages, I have come to the personal conclusion that the aforementioned lost relative Kathleen is my aunt. Enter stage, my new Auntie Kath!

While it seemed probable that my own father could have been responsible for bringing her into the world when he was just 19 years of age, it is more likely in terms of mathematical deduction that his father (my grandad) Thomas indulged in some extra-marital shagging at that more trusted age of 46. He was frequently drunk, he beat his wife, was barely there for his three existing children, and it is now not in the least bit surprising that he elected to pump and dump.

It is a conclusion that was also reached by Dana who is my cousin once removed. She was more ready to assume it was the old drunk Irishman who did the evil deed, as opposed to a mild-mannered 19 year old. And while I know there is still an unknown half-brother out there somewhere, I can at least rest assured that it was not my own dad who indulged in reckless impregnation.

Tonight I shared a phone call with my cousin Christine, who had also been busy mulling over the possibilities of whodunnit. The last time I heard her voice was in 1985 when I attended a wedding up in Manchester, when we were both 13 at the time. Her voice now is identical to how it was back then! "Off the top o' me 'ead...." Quite pronounced, but not as full on as Tom Malone from Gogglebox!

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