Fluteboy

Break and enter

11:43 am : Wednesday, 14 November 2018  |  


Early this morning we suffered an attempted burglary. Attempted, but quickly aborted. Possibly due to my loud voice coming at them from the next room.

Because of her health needs, my partner has the big bed in the main bedroom all to herself, while I have a small bed in the spare room. Given that I sometimes snore, I will sometimes take to the sofa in the living room, and make my Neanderthal noises in there. Last night was one of those nights. On the sofa with a couple of cushions and a v-shaped pillow, tucked up and dreaming of Manchester or something other, whilst making ug noises.

At 3:50AM I hear shuffling which I assume is my partner in the hall about to go to the bathroom. I am then woken proper by a humongous bang/crash from the kitchen, and my immediate response is: "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Assuming the cat has knocked something over and broken it, I go into the kitchen to see the window wide open, having been forced. Call it foolish, but my next instinct is to go outside with my phone blaring its torch light, and a saucepan in my hand should there be any need for combat. No one around. We had a visit from the Police about half an hour later, though this did little to chill my partner's nerves, or calm me down sufficiently for sleep.

Someone I knew once described being burgled as like being raped. Your own home is violated, and your possessions are fingered. The last time I suffered a burglary was in 1992, when £1100 worth of audio equipment was taken. Since then I have lived much of my life with relatively little, knowing full well that I would have little, if anything, to lose. Funny how, having only just finished building a decent audio system, someone makes an attempt on our property. Coincidence? Or just some opportunist scum c*nt from Corby or Peterborough?

These properties are reserved for the elderly or the disabled, so will sadly attract the attention of the lowdown and filthy. Clearly they did not expect a loud voice to immediately serenade them from the next room.