The unwoken fool

There is a lesson that I just will not learn. The lesson being, that if I have too much sleep, my dreams will start getting weirder and weirder. Being a Sunday, I allowed myself the generous sum of ten hours, and the result is always the same. I wake up with a dance track going round and round in my head on a tape loop, with lyrics like: "I'm getting out of here - from Outer Space!"

The dreams are no better. Despite having left Sainsbury's two years ago, I am still dreaming about turning up there. And I must have been in America too, because I kept opening a big fridge! You know, those huge numbers that they only seem to have over there! And while walking outdoors, I am able to cause 2012-style sinkholes and tsunamis just by looking at a certain place in the distance - and then stop it again by saying to myself: "No come on, that's enough!" Sleep is clearly only good for me in measured doses.

Anyhow, last night's Eurovision was full of delights as always. My favourite ended up being Poland's entry My Słowianie [me-swov-yan-ya]. I even ended up dialling the number to register my vote, but sadly the sexy butter-churning babes didn't come anywhere close to winning. Gówno!!

Armenia, meanwhile, had an Iain Lee lookalike giving us a song that reminded me of that old Internet Explorer 9 TV advert. You know - the one that told us: "IE9 smoked the competition!"

Congrats shall nevertheless go out to Austria and their bearded lady. There's one in the eye for all those narrow-minded, homophobic far-right-supporting numpties in that country!
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1 comment:

  1. sexy butter-churning babes.....NAUGHTY...boy!!!!


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