Tampons
Today at work, I was going through the Merchandising Action Report. This report involves identifying any discontinued products and removing their price tickets if necessary, then removing them from the system. Today I was performing this task with a female graduate from Sainsbury's head office.

While making our way through the Health & Beauty section of the report, I read out the next product description:- "Such-and-such-brandname, digital tampons, 20 pack". Her response was similar to my thoughts:- "DIGITAL tampons???" We were then highly amused at the thought of an electronic tampon! One that bleeps when it needs changing? Or maybe delivers a jolt of electricity? Lord, how our minds boggled!

Sadly, it turns out that a "digital" tampon is one that comes without an applicator, therefore requiring you to use your DIGITS to install it. How we were disappointed at not being able to find battery-operated ones.
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Speed demon
What are my favourite words? Off the bat, I can think of "free", "yes" and "chocolate". And there's nothing like a bit of "free" every now and again.

Earlier this month I received an email from my internet provider, informing me that my connection was going to be upgraded for free. I imagine this is because our national telecoms provider - BT - have at long last decided to step into the 90's and upgrade our lines.

I was expecting them to at least double my old speed of 1.1Mbps. About half an hour ago, my connection dropped, and then eventually reconnected at 5.3Mbps! Thank you Virgin! Thank you BT for allowing this - I don't know what took you so long! And to think I used to have to pay a similar amount to dial up and crawl along at about 56Kbps! I will be honest though - I do miss the chirping and screeching of the dial-up modem.
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Yay America!
Well done to all of you who voted for Obama! You can be proud to be American now! At long last, things are moving on.

I'm not necessarily a fan of British comedian and presenter Russell Brand, though I could not help but smile and laugh knowingly when he described our Dubya as a retard! Don't believe me? Then listen to this! It's that last "Derrr!" that should have you worried!

I do feel for my ex-partner Clair, who is now married and living in Tennessee - deep in the heart of Jesusland. Heck, I know it's cold and grey over here in Britainland, but at least oral sex isn't illegal! Just bear that in mind please. If you ever decide to go down - then you really WILL end up going down!

Anyhow, here's to peace, love and progression!
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